Fortunately I have a really good excuse...
We're having a baby!
And I've been so wiped out and sick (more wiped out than sick thankfully), that by the time Noelle is in bed I am absolutely done for the night. Yes, it really has been too much for me to get my phone and even blog from the (awful) Blogger app. Bryan is working on his thesis for his MBA so he is constantly hogging the laptop and our desktop computer is ancient and it would take me an hour to put a simple post together. I know, I know...excuses, excuses!
The Back Story: (Are you ready? This is going to be really long and mostly pictureless!)
October 21, 2012
Ironically, the last time I posted was the day we found out we were pregnant. We had been trying, like really, really tracking things trying and I had just taken a test on Thursday (a smidge early at 13 DPO) and I got a big yucky negative. I was more bummed than I thought I would be, but I reminded myself that this was truly the first cycle we had tried and put as much thought/effort/planning into it as we did. I said if I didn't get my period by Wednesday (10/24) I would test again. By that point it would be about 4 days past my expected period.
Well, because I am such a patient person (ha!) I decided to test again. I should mention that I have always been a little neurotic and even when not trying, would always have tests on hand and would sometimes be a little test-happy. So Sunday night with absolutely zero fanfare, I told Bryan that I was going to take another test. He rolled his eyes a little bit...so supportive, that one...but was on board. Within about a minute and a half there was the faintest second line. I called to Bryan, who was getting ready to light pumpkins with Noelle, and asked him to take a look. He saw the second line right away and got a huge smile on his face. I was very pessimistic and wouldn't accept the "a line is a line is a line" rule. I think it was especially hard for me to accept since I had just had the BFN three days before. Also, I just didn't think in a million years that we would get pregnant on the first cycle. Bryan was jumping up and down and smiling like a fool, and I tried so hard to be excited, but I wasn't 100% there. I took a second test a little while later even though I told myself I would wait until the morning for a stronger result. The line was there, but it was still pretty faint.
I let myself go in and out of euphoria and talking about plans and things for the next 9 months, but then I'd stop myself because I didn't want to get too excited if I weren't really pregnant. Noelle was a little bit of a hellion that night; not naughty but very hyper. Bryan kept saying " are you sure you want two of these?!" And we both smiled and said, "Absolutely!" I was still nervous, but tried not to think about it too much. We decided I would test again in the morning and just enjoyed the feeling that I was very likely pregnant.
October 22, 2012
I took another test when I woke up and I was just convinced that it was negative. I waited about a minute and there wasn't a line so I jumped in the shower and was pretty sad. Bryan came in a few minutes later and I peeked out of the shower and I was sorry that it was negative. He looked at me like I was crazy and showed me the test. The second line was very faint, even more so than the night beofre. I was even more convinced at that point that I only had a chemical pregnancy or something (because, you know, I can't just accept it and be happy).
I was still skeptical and was trying not to get too attached to the idea of being pregnant. I kept looking at pregnancy apps but didn't want to download anything in fear of jinxing myself. I also didn't want to know what the EDD would be because that would solidify things even more. Eventually I couldn't help myself and found out that my due date will be June 27. Which is the day before my best friend's birthday!
Since then, things have been pretty status quo as far as my experience with pregnancy goes. Emotionally thought, I was an anxious mess in the beginning - which, actually, is still status quo for me. From my iPregnancy app on 10/24:
Alternating feelings of happiness/thankfulness and worry/anxiety that the pregnancy will stick. It took everything I had to even download this a pregnancy app. I feel like I'm jinxing this by doing so.I ended up feeling really good for the first two weeks, one of the upsides about finding out you're pregnant pretty much as soon as possible! But, because I'm me, this just led to more anxiety. From 10/30:
Started feeling a little anxious today and I'm wishing I kept better (read: any) records from my first pregnancy. I'm at that stage where I don't really have any other symptoms indicating I'm pregnant. I wish I knew when I started feeling "all day" sickness and when the exhaustion kicked in last time. I have very sore and tender breasts and a slightly increased appetite, but that's about it. I know that every pregnancy is different and that a lack of "typical" symptoms doesn't necessarliy mean anything, but it would definitely easie my mind a bit. Of course, when those symptoms kick in, I'll be kicking myself for wanting them! Even with all of that, we went ahead and ordered a Big Sister shirt for Noelle from Etsy! So excited to suprise everyone at Thanksgiving!!And of course, two days later I was kicking myself as I could tell that exhaustion was slowly creeping into the picture, and then a few days after that, the nausea and crazy gag reflex. I know I'm incredibly blessed that those are pretty much as bad as my symptoms get. Like last time, I've never actually thrown up, just had a couple small dry heaves and a lot of nausea. As of today I'm 14w4d and I'm definitely feeling better, but not 100%. I don't know if I'll ever not be tired though. Last time I could be lazy and lay on the couch all day, but this time there's a very active three year old in the picture and a husband who is working on his last month of grad school! Not much rest for this mama!
The nausea, though, can go away at any time. That is one thing I do remember from last time that is different this time around. When I hit the second trimester with Noelle, my symptoms went away like someone had flipped a switch. From then on I was that annoying supremely happy pregnant lady! I want to be annoyingly happy again!
Ok, if you are still reading, I congratulate you on your ability to stay awake! To reward you, here is the picture of Noelle we used for our "making-it-Facebook-official" announcement! I hope to sprinkle in some more back story in between weekly updates and other posts!
She is so unbelievably excited!! I want to do a post on just her reaction and her comments and awesomeness so far!
Here is a picture of the ultrasound machine screen at my second doctor's appointment at 12w. My OB office doesn't typically do u/s before the anatomy scan if you don't have a history of complications, but they had just gotten a portable one so the nurse wanted me to be able to see the baby. I have video too and that little one was moving around like crazy!
